And From Them We All Come…
Today I attended the wedding of a dear family friend, an aunty to my siblings and a sister to my parents. I enjoyed the grand tenure of door opener for the entrance and I must say I played that uniquely consequential role very well. A small gathering of maybe 75 people beamed for the soon to be couple as they took their seats at the front. Weddings are often measured in their grandeur and opulence, but not this one. It was perfect because of all it’s simplicity and it’s elegance.
“Allah created Adam, our Father, from nothing…
And from him, He created our Mother, Hawa…
And from them come all of humanity.”
What a beautiful way to start a nikkah speech by reminding us of our humbling dependency on The One who created us from absolutely nothing and gave us absolutely everything. The sheikh reminded us of our purpose, that of worshipping God, for without it we were created for nothing.
Earlier in the day, my Dad said something quite profound. He said, on your wedding day all that you want is for it to be over. You couldn’t really care less about the photos and the decor and the outfits and the food, all you want to be is with your new spouse and your wedding day is just the final hurdle. Now, I’m not sure my mother or most brides would even agree, as it is their big day, but I think I understood the essence of what he was saying, which is society places the expectations of wedding halls, three course menus and stiff outfits because that is how you ‘should’ get married, it’s how you achieve the social standard. Society always wants us to be the winner, but all we actually want is connection.
Marriage is the foundation of any good society and perhaps the most stabilising (or destructive) commitment of anyone’s life. Marriage binds love, commitment, faith, goals and ultimately two humans together for life. Some people dream every day of meeting Prince Charming and their wedding. Others dread the prospect, having seen the catastrophic fallout of a failed marriage or just fear the burden and responsibility of it all.
At 20 years old, we think about marriage a lot. Some of our peers might start to get married, our parents start subtly hinting over dinner and nearly every other conversations with your friends is about finding a wife. We might even take the leap and ask someone, and in doing so learn a lot about where we actually are in life. God created marriage as the vehicle for family and fulfilment so we shouldn’t deal with that precedent lightly nor hastily.
The question, ‘is this the right time for marriage?’ is not the right one, for any marriage comes with its unique tribulations no matter when it comes, rather every act towards marriage itself is a trial whether its speaking with your parents or proposing or even your wedding day itself, the hurdles will never end but as Muslims we know ‘hardship comes with ease’. For every door that is closed in your pursuit for fulfilment, many more will open and a world of good will await.
For today’s married couple, may Allah bless them, preserve them and enjoin them in goodness. And to all of you (including myself) that are unmarried, good luck.
Salam.
Yours Faithfully,
Issa.
